There has been a trend lately of people recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence along with recognizing that it has limits. These people tend to feel lost when looking where to go next with the information of being able to name their emotions and event identify possible origins for said emotions. This problem comes in the same way that knowing something does not mean we have any idea of what to do with it. We can often google symptoms and identify a possible diagnosis for said symptoms without the knowledge of how to treat it or even the etiology of the issue. This is where emotional wisdom comes into view.
Emotional wisdom is often what therapy is meant to help us reach. I have heard many neurodivergent clients and people on the internet say they received feedback about being very self-aware of their emotions. This would be the case with emotional intelligence. The problem often arises when these individuals are unsure of what is next or not given the guidance toward emotional wisdom. It is not enough to know what is happening or where it came from. We must understand how within the system and history of ourselves these cause and effects came to be and how we manage them.
Emotional wisdom is understanding that our emotions have purpose and have come to be through the experiences of our lives. The good supports and coping skills we may have had or developed over time all played a role in our lives and our choices of what to keep or discard along the way. As I have said before, trauma symptoms are not symptoms within the context of the trauma. They are perfectly adapted survival skills that no longer work outside of that context. Emotional wisdom is coming to understand this and learning what continues to work and what doesn’t in our current environments.
Emotional wisdom is examining our strengths and weaknesses and reducing the effects of said weaknesses while increasing the use of our strengths. We did not develop these issues or responses by accident. They were forged through the fires of our experiences in life. The ones that remain are the ones that were forged strongly. Our brains do not waste the effort it takes to do this on junk. We just need to understand more of the why and how to better utilize it in our lives.