Happiness is a strange thing in this world, as we are taught to chase it endlessly. Ask yourself, are you happy? In this moment, the answer might be yes, the answer might be no. How long until that answer changes? Can a life be good without having always been happy? Do we only need to achieve happiness by the day of our death to define life as good? Happiness evokes complicated questions.
Dan Gilbert does an amazing TED talk on the Surprising Science of Happiness where he discusses the emotional changes to our memory and our happiness even in people with medically-based memory issues. He describes synthetic happiness to be just as valid if not more desirable than natural happiness. Synthetic happiness is the happiness we create in what we have. Stoics and Sheryl Crow will tell you it is about wanting what you have rather than getting what you want. That statement basically says it’s about synthetic happiness rather than natural happiness.
Finding happiness seems to have good results in the research, while research on chasing happiness shows us more maladaptive effects. Mary Moore RN writes for Gilmore Health News about how Aggressively Chasing Happiness Depletes Mental Energy, Weakening Self-Control and Satisfaction. This makes a lot of sense when we recognize how difficult it is to stumble upon natural happiness. So many emotional resources get used up in the search of it. Our behavior can also become much more unhealthy as our resources dwindle and we become more desperate. It would make sense why she notes that self-control suffers in the process.
The other problem with aggressive chasing of happiness is that we are not paying attention to the journey of becoming happy. Happiness of finding a $20 bill on the ground is fleeting as that money might not even be valued past the point of freely finding it. However, being present in the moment might allow us to enjoy the process of spending that $20 bill on things that we enjoy rather than wasting it frivolously on short term gains. Not being present means our decision-making process is compromised.
The pursuit of happiness implies the lack of happiness. This means we are considering ourselves possibly as suffering while lacking this happiness. This might be an untrue assumption. Contentment is a neutral emotion that we hold in high regard. Sometimes we even hold contentment in higher regard than happiness. We should seek neutral with the capability of positive rather than the chase of positive with the assumption of negative. This is the path that mindfulness teaches.
Neutrality is our natural state. In fact, unbound happiness is more likely euphoria and a symptom of serious cognitive issues. People are not supposed to be euphoric all of the time. This is what happens in a manic state, which is related to one of the more dangerous symptoms of bipolar disorder. Ironically, mania is also a time when impulse control is lower. We likely should not chase happiness.
What would happiness look like if you achieved it? Did you enjoy the process of obtaining it? What was that journey like? Were all the hard times worth the final result? How long did the happiness last before more was needed? What does it mean to be content? Is it enough? Take some time to ponder on these questions. Journal if you would like.