When we think about therapy, we often imagine “break throughs” as representing success within the work. Many of these break throughs are what we would call epiphanies. Sudden moments of insight that help us to accept or change something in our lives that seems unchangeable. An epiphany can be an exciting part of therapy. It often makes us feel like we finally have an answer to an unanswerable question. However, there is a thing called a false epiphany.
The false epiphany feels like a genuine epiphany, but the answer later turns out to be incorrect or even detrimental to our goals. There is a relatively simple way to detect if the epiphany is false. The phrase, “I just need (fill in the blank)”. The word “just” in that sentence trivializes the issue and sets a form of tunnel vision on one specific answer. There can be so many answers to any given problem. However, when we focus on only one “right” solution we tend to miss other options along the way.
The false epiphany is damaging in that it prevents us from accessing support to get our needs met. I can’t tell you how many times I sat across from someone who told me what they “just needed to do” having heard that same answer before from others who were not successful. Sometimes this wasn’t even the first time that person was sitting across from me after having followed their last epiphany. The problem with change is that it is not single faceted. Change happens through change of many factors. When we limit it to just one aspect of our lives, we limit our growth and sometimes set ourselves up for failure.
Ask yourself this today. Have I ever had a false epiphany? How did it work out for me? What might have changed that outcome? Was I unable to hear advice that would have helped me be successful?
This is fascinating.
Thanks!